Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
