do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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