Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
one might say we're banned from that church
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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