Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
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