Having a random hookup so left but love u
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
