if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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