Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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