why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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