fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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