White coat. Heels.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
