I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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