Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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