all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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