I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Pants are for mortals
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
