i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize