I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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