his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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