I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize