I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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