But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
When are your genitals available?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
