i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Randomize
