I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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