I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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