That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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