Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I just blew my weed a kiss
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize