She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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