I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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