when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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