If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
