God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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