I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
It's rum buckets o'clock
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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