He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
