I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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