idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
