She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
