his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I wish there were birth control emojis
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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