Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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