Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Randomize
