kristin has been a bad kristin
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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