Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
