You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
