Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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