are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
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