Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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