If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
