I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
