I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
