I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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