If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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