Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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