the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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