I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
