9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
