I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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