hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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