Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
