what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
