Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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