i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
My balls are so social today.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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